#MumbaiList: 10 Times ‘Ask the Sexpert’s Dr. Mahinder Watsa Knocked It Out of the Ballpark

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The Mumbai Mirror is my poop-paper, closely followed by the Bombay Times. Not that the news in the Mumbai Mirror is any less enriching than say, the Economic Times. But there’s just something about that little tabloid-sized baby that makes it the perfect companion for any bathroom activity. Having said that, there’s one thing in the Mumbai Mirror that is pretty frickin’ awesome – and that is the ‘Ask the Sexpert’ column by Dr. Mahinder Watsa.

‘Ask the Sexpert’ is the mother of all advice columns, mainly because of 88-year old Dr. Watsa’s sharp wit and fetching analogies that can make even the likes of Dr. Phil crawl back to the Bible Belt. Dr. Watsa is the bee’s knees, a badass literary vigilante who isn’t afraid to distinguish the flaccidity from the firm, the mildly-disturbed from the candidates for ‘strait-jacket city’.

In a country that wants to cover up lingerie-sporting mannequins for being too ‘naughty’ and inciting advances of a sexual nature from unsuspecting, ‘innocent’ Indian gentlemen, Dr. Watsa’s unabashed responses to the closeted sexual dysfunctions of our populace are refreshing and upfront. He puns like a boss, is sufficiently sarcastic (because how could you not be, when someone says their astrologer advised them to yank on the one-eyed snake while reciting a shloka to increase its size) and draws parallels between the situation in question, and the most unassuming things. Mahinder Watsa is just what the doctor ordered, not just to deal with some pretty inane ‘sexy-time’ queries, but also to give us some much needed light-heartedness when talking about that-three-letter-word-that-must-not-be-named. Let’s take a look at ten of his most badass replies.

1. Juhu-Chaat Enthusiast

Juhu Chaat
Juhu Chaat, Image Courtesy – http://pbs.twimg.com/

2. Pump Up the Jam 

Pump Up the Jam
Pump Up the Jam, Image Courtesy – www.facebook.com

3. The ‘Tunak-Tunak’

Tunak Tunak
Tunak Tunak, Image Courtesy – http://p.twimg.com/

4. Tu Meri Hai Pepsi-Cola, Main Tera Hoon Coca-Cola

Pepsi Cola Coca Cola
Pepsi Cola Coca Cola, Image Courtesy – https://pbs.twimg.com

5. Cirque Du Soleil 

Cirque Du Soleil
Cirque Du Soleil, Image Courtesy -http://pbs.twimg.com/

6. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Image Courtesy – http://anonandon.files.wordpress.com/

7. I’m Up All Night to Get Lucky

Up All Night to Get Lucky
Up All Night to Get Lucky, Image Courtesy – http://www.whackk.com/

8. iCame, iSaw, iPilled (Myself)

iPilled Myself
iPilled Myself, Image Courtesy – https://www.facebook.com

9. I’m A Little Tripod, Short & Stout

I'm a Little Tripod
I’m a Little Tripod, Image Courtesy – http://p.twimg.com/

10. Maybe It’s Maybelline 

Maybe It's Maybelline
Maybe It’s Maybelline, Image Courtesy – http://pbs.twimg.com/

 

Take a bow Dr. Watsa, because you are awesome. Here’s to many more years of ‘punny’ replies. Have you come across a winning response from Dr. Watsa in his ‘Ask the Sexpert’ column that you didn’t find here? Share it with us in comments below.

Post By Amanda Ferrao (25 Posts)

Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.

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Amanda Ferrao

Amanda Ferrao
Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.
  • Saumya

    This one was hilarious! Dr. Watsa’s fan for life!!

  • Gimbels

    Ha ha ! Loved #10. Reminds me of the old Connie Frances song “Lipstick On Your Collar”. She should try “Lipstick On His Dipstick”. It will burn less. 😉

  • rajeev

    @amanda, You write beautifully

    • Amanda Ferrao

      Thank you! 🙂

  • maitreyee

    OH MAN! Bahahahahahahaha!

  • TheOddfather

    Haha! Delightfully written Amanda!

    • Amanda Ferrao

      Thanks!