Hey Mumbai Mag-sters! Here’s what’s been going down in the inferno we all call home. It Seems That The Indian CSI Is Taking an Extended Chai Break Mayur Thakare, the Mumbai circle officer of the Archaeological Survey of India, has been wearing gloves at home these last couple of days. Nope, it’s not because he has just excavated a hidden civilization or anything. The poor guy’s house at Nahur (E) was burgled and it seems that Indian CSI weren’t available to dust for fingerprints. So, in a bid to preserve the evidence and keep the scene of the crime untouched, Thakare has been walking around his house wearing surgical gloves for over a week. Why couldn’t the good officers at the Kanjur Marg Police Station report for duty, you ask? Because election duty had kept them on their toes, apparently. Good to know that as taxpaying citizens, we are put on the backburner. Tsk, tsk. What would ACP Pradyuman say? Navy Cadets Chase Woman in Auto From Bandra to Borivali After Molesting Her In Club Or behind you, in this case. After being kicked out by bouncers from Bandra nightclub Hawaiian Shack for molesting a 25-year old woman, 5 Indian navy cadets waited for her outside to pick a fight and trailed her rickshaw all the back to Borivali. Luckily for her, the she came across a police van patrolling the streets in Borivali, and the cadets were arrested. When they were apprehended and asked what make them act like a bunch of poop-flinging baboons, they said that they thought the woman was single. So wait. They molested her and followed her in a rickshaw all the way from Bandra to Borivali, because they thought she was single?? Really classy move, boys. What happened to your motto about being 'A Global Force for Good’? When the navy was contacted, they shirked it off by saying that they were not commissioned officers. I’m sure everyone is resting easy knowing that. Thanks, Indian Navy! Jadoo ki Jhappi Anyone, Asks Cook A cook employed by an affluent family in Cuffe Parade hid the personal belongings of a maid and told her he would only return it if she gave him a ‘jaadoo ki jhappi’. Who would question these smooth moves? Except maybe KRK, who has some smooth moves of this own. Exhibit A: Sallu May Insist on ‘Being Human’, But Is He Really? Salman Khan might be known as the most charitable man in Bollywood because of his ‘Being Human’ foundation, but can anyone really forget what transpired in September 2002, when Khan mowed down five people and killed one, who were sleeping on a pavement in Bandra? Key witnesses in the case have said that no one that was injured in the accident had seen any compensation till date. The court had ordered Khan to deposit Rs 19 lakh, Rs 10 lakh of which was to be given to the next of kin of the deceased and Rs 9 lakh to be distributed among those injured. That was 12 years ago and no one has seen any money yet. Here is what Salman Khan has been doing in those 12 years. He checked himself for crabs in Ready. He had a really bad hair day in Tere Naam. He shook a leg in Dabangg 2. Literally. He spoke to a parrot on the sets of Bigg Boss. He apparently started a trend. He picked on Vivek Oberoi. So all it all, it seemed like a good decade for Sallu. Yet, the compensation he was meant to pay the people he ran over, seemed to have slipped his mind. Maybe he should start consuming the stuff he pawns like: So that’s all folks. Check back in next week for more madness and mayhem. And if you're in the mood for some feels, here is an awesome video of Mumbai clapping along to Pharrel William’s Happy. Stay happy Mumbai!