Hey Mumbai Mag-sters! The week so far has been pretty great. Know why? Because GoTs04e1 has finally been released and was being downloaded up the wazoo on Torrentz. If you don’t know what that acronym stands for, I’m totally judging you right now. Apart from that, the elections are around the corner, and the shit-slinging is only getting more and more intriguing. In other news, here’shttp://mumbaimag.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=23384&action=edit what went down in B-town this week
Zoo Animals ‘Rejoice’ as Aarey Colony Proposes City’s First Cageless Zoo
The Doozers (BMC) and the state government have joined forces to spell further disaster for our poor down-and-out zoo animals, by proposing an extension of Byculla Zoo at Goregaon's Aarey Milk Colony. The new 100-acre zoo “will have animal safaris - both day and night -- a jungle trail that will mimic the real-life habitats of wild animals, a snakes and reptiles section to be called, rather ambitiously, Anaconda Enclosure, and an aviary.”
According to an official “the idea behind the new zoo is to let people interact with animals”. Isn’t that great news?! Now, instead of visitors pelting stones at the poor animals inside their enclosures, now they have the freedom to pelt them in more natural surroundings. Fun for everyone!
Apparently the Central Zoo Authority does not allow any city to have two zoos. Well, I have been to the Byculla Zoo, and let me just say, thank god!
Sikander Kher Should Be Happy That He’s In The News..
...even though it’s only because of a technicality. Apparently, Gregor Clegane Sikander Kher is not too comfortable with the bitter electoral battle for the Chandigarh constituency that his mommy Kirron Kher (BJP) and his ex-girlfriend Gul Panag (AAP) are engaged in.
Shit just got real when the ladies took to Twitter to lambast each other last month. Sikku is of course, defending his mommy. I mean, who will make aalu ke paronthe for him if he chooses Gul Panag, who looks like she could totally kick his ass, if the need arose.
The whole situation really had Sikander, who had just returned from a five-day scuba diving course in Thailand, pacing the room and pondering life’s ironies. But at the end of the day, if ‘Mama said knock you out, then Sikander Kher is gonna knock you out.’ I’m looking at you, Gul Panang.
CAUTION – INDIAN MORALS AT STAKE, MUST ARREST AT SIGHT
Law enforcement officials in Lonavla decided yet again, to turn a blind eye and deaf ear towards actual criminal behaviour and instead, pooped all over a house party of a bunch of law students who were “scantily clad, drinking alcohol without permits, and playing loud music.” It is interesting to note that no illicit drugs found at the party that the students had organised to celebrate completing five years of law school.
According to Superintendent of Police (Pune Rural) Manoj Lohiya, “the youths were drunk and dancing in a vulgar manner with masks on.”
You mean like this?
Mr. Lohiya, did you play Mayor Dooley in that Footloose movie? It’s amazing that we have such double standards when it comes to real life, when our reel life constitutes posters like these that are plastered all over the city for everyone to see:
Police Inspector I S Patil said that he “found some girls were dressed skimpily; many of them were wearing only lingerie.” What he probably meant is that they weren’t wearing appropriate attire aka ‘traditional Indian dress.’
So basically, if I threw a Game of Thrones season 4 finale party in June at my house, dressed up as Margaery Tyrell, drank a lot of wine like Cersei Lannister, and danced maniacally into the night, I could be arrested? Challenge accepted!
Sallu Turns Organic Farmer
Bhaigetable, Image Courtesy - Team Mumbai Mag
In a bid to stay healthy, Salman Khan has apparently taken to gardening and has been growing organic potatoes, tomatoes and pumpkins at his Panvel farmhouse. Great news for Sallu, whose last film ‘Jai Ho’ was a worse disaster than Hurricane Katrina (you see what I did there?)
Salman's father, Salim Khan says that he’s “never seen Salman so passionate about anything.” Yeah, except for Aishwarya Rai and that poor black buck. Humble note to Salman Khan – crazy aint’ got no cure, yo.
So that’s about it from the most original pieces of news from Mumbai this week. Check back in next week for more madness and mayhem. I was totally serious about that GoT party idea so if I ever get busted and need bail money, please contact my editor to make donations. Valar Morghulis.
Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.