#OMGLOLWTF: Mumbai This Week

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Hey, Mumbai Mag-sters. A lot went down this week in the city – there was good news like Kangana Ranaut kicking some serious ass in Queen, Deadmau5 spinning at the Racecourse on Friday, and the Animal Welfare Board of India finally taking a stand to say that societies could no longer ban pets. Then of course, there was grim news like a premature baby living out of an ice box and a teenager who was molested and almost stripped in broad daylight. The city will always keep you on your toes, sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in the worst way possible.

Here’s a little somethin-somethin about what went down in Mumbai this week.

Time To Get Those Pogo Sticks / Skateboards Out, Mumbai
Why? Because soon, there are going to be lesser taxis on the street. The Mumbai Central RTO, which issues hundreds of taxi fitness certificates every day, has been barred by the Bombay High Court from conducting fitness tests until the time it locates a long enough track for testing cabs. In the absence of these certificates, the drivers of many taxis, which are up for renewal of certificates, may keep off the roads, fearing heavy fines.

What this means, is that you will probably be doing this…

Chaaaarrgee!
Chaaaarrgee! Image Courtesy – http://mnprogressiveproject.com/

…to score a cab to get to work every morning.

If you’ve been stacking away that Pogo stick for a rainy day or have never really gotten around to learning how to use a skateboard, there’s no time like the present. Because think about it; your only other option for public transport is the bus, and we all know how that story ends.

Image Courtesy - http://www.odishareporter.in/
Image Courtesy – http://www.odishareporter.in/

Teenager molested, nearly stripped by gang in Kandivali
I’d never thought I’d ever say this, but there seems like there is no difference between Mumbai and Delhi, at least when it comes to the safety of women. We have always prided ourselves with how safe Mumbai city is, and how our women have the freedom to do pretty much anything they want, at any time of the day they want to, without having to constantly look over their shoulders. But it’s time we all get a reality check. Because the reality of the situation is actually very, very different from what we thought it to be.

An 18-year-old girl was allegedly molested and nearly stripped by a group of men in broad daylight in Kandivali. The girl was chased down the streets by the men who groped her and tore at her clothes. When she ran into a restaurant, the staff, allegedly turned her away instead of helping her.

I don’t know which parts of that statement are scarier. The fact that she was just a kid, the fact that a group of men had the audacity to pull something like this off, the fact that it happened in broad daylight or the fact that the restaurant staff did not possess the testicular fortitude to protect her. Luckily for the girl, a motorist intercepted and hit one of the men and a beat constable caught the attackers. Four of the accused men have allegedly been arrested, while two are believed to be minors.

My question is, so what if they are minors? If they are old enough to do the crime, they should be old enough to the time! It’s time we stop taking things so lightly and make some tangible amendments in how perpetrators of ‘eve-teasing’ are dealt with. That term ‘eve-teasing’ itself in my opinion, describes the crime too lightly. Teasing refers to making fun of someone in a playful manner. There is nothing playful about the way a woman is molested. There is nothing playful about being groped, nothing playful about being pinched, nothing playful about being made the victim of sexual harassment, a scar that never ever goes away.

And lastly, why are people not making a big deal about the restaurant staffed by a bunch of gutless wonders that turned the girl away? Why is the name of that restaurant being withheld? For whose benefit? They are as guilty as the group of men and should be taken to task and charged with being an accessory to a crime. Mumbai was recently found to be the second most honest city in the world. Unfortunately, if there was a social experiment to test how valorous or brave, we’d fail miserably. Things have changed, Mumbai. Definitely not for the better.

Mumbai’s T2 Terminal Went ‘All Out’ in Design and Now Needs ‘All Out’ to Keep Mosquitoes Away
“Airport staff, passengers and taxi drivers at the new international terminal are troubled by a swarm of mosquitoes, originating from an uncovered nullah outside the airport and making their way inside.” Many staffers have started carrying electric bats to tackle the parasites.

So the next time you head to the T2 terminal, you might find a gripping Grand Slam Tennis 2 match ensuing between the staff. Don’t forget to douse yourself with Odomos, citronella oil or…

Tactical Mosquito Gear
Tactical Mosquito Gear, Image Courtesy – http://cdn.nexternal.com/

… this baby before you leave home. You’re welcome.

Man Divorces Wife for Wearing the Pants in the Relationship

Who run the world? Girls (girls)

Who run the world? Girls (girls)

Who run the world? Girls (girls)

Who run the world? Girls (girls)

Who run this mother? Girls

Who run this mother? Girls

Who run this mother? Girls

Who run this mother? Girls

Well, apparently this guy from Parel didn’t get Beyonce’s memo.

Beyonce Reacting to the Story
Beyonce Reacting to the Story, Image Courtesy – http://www.kingsofar.com/

A man was seeking a divorce from his wife on the grounds of ‘cruelty’ because he was apparently “anguished by the fact that his wife often wore shirt and trousers to work even when he insisted that she dressed traditionally, and that she had the temerity to refuse him sex once in their three-year-old marriage.” The ‘cruelty’ began while on a honeymoon to Mahabaleshwar, when his wife used the line ‘not tonight honey, I have a headache’ and continued when she “insisted on going to Nashik on a work-related tour, just one-and-a-half months after the wedding”. Holy free will, Batman!

What’s more surprising than this dude being upset at not getting an invitation to the party in his wife’s pants, is the fact that the Bandra Family Court (who apparently have been smoking crack) actually passed the divorce order. Thankfully, the Bombay High Court stepped in and threw this ruling out on its ass, saying that “The door of cruelty cannot be opened so wide, otherwise divorce will have to be granted in every case of incompatibility of temperament”. ‘Nuff said.

So that’s about it from the most original pieces of news from Mumbai this week. Check back in next week for more madness and mayhem.Have an excellent long weekend and happy Holi!

Post By Amanda Ferrao (25 Posts)

Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.

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Amanda Ferrao

Amanda Ferrao
Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.