#OMGLOLWTF: Mumbai This Week

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Hey, Mumbai Mag-sters. This is your weekly guide to the most news-worthy happenings in the city. From the weird to the whacky, from the WTF to the LOL, and a little of OMFG thrown in there for good measure- we’ve got it all. Ready? OK!

Here’s a little somethin-somethin about what went down in B-town this week.

Bhajji
Bhajji, Image Courtesy – http://2.bp.blogspot.com

Bhajji Meet Reality Check, Reality Check, Bhajji
Bhajji is probably sneering from ear-to-ear right now and is practising his best “I told you so” in front of the mirror, thanks to Ravichandran Ashwin’s shoddy overseas performance at India’s South African and New Zealand tours. Harbhajan Singh got the boot from the Indian team about a year ago and the 33-year old is now gearing up to strut his way back, but not before he blows some sunshine up his own gluteus maximus and rubs everyone’s nose in it.

When asked who his biggest competition is, Bhajji replied, “In all these years, I have only had one competitor. That’s me myself. I have never liked competing with anyone (read Ashwin) and it has remained like that over the years.” The Turbinator also said that there was “”No point in competing with two, three or four people.”

Well ok then! I wonder if Bhajji is in the mood for dessert because he sure could use a large piece of humble pie.

Salman-AR-Rahman
Salman-AR-Rahman, Image Courtesy – http://zns.india.com

Salman Khan’s ‘Sense of Humour’ Strikes Again
Everyone keeps saying stuff like ‘poor Salman Khan lands up in the media for all the wrong reasons’. Well I’m sorry, but if you stick both your feet in your mouth and hop around town on your butt using your ‘sense of humour’ as an excuse for spewing venom, then you deserve every bit of scathe that’s going to come your way. This time, the 48-year old (of I have itchy underpants fame) directed his snide comments at the Oscar-winning composer A.R. Rahman, calling him an “average artist”.

This went down at the launch of Raunaq, a musical collaboration between A R Rahman and Union Minister (Telecom & IT) Kapil Sibal, where Khan was some sort of guest of honour or something. Rahman was visibly upset after this underhanded jibe, but remained dignified throughout the event. Crazy-eyes Khan on the other hand, tried to make up for his lack of social skills by cracking some more ‘jokes’ and imploring the composer to work with him on a film.

Salman Khan is like that high school bully who used to steal your lunch money and then give you a wedgie in front of all your friends. People are scared of him, no one wants to stand up to him and everyone tries to humour him and say what a fantastic human being he is. Having said that, the only person that called him out on his bullshit was Vivek Oberoi. And look where that got him.

Bat of Honour
Bat of Honour, Image Courtesy – http://media2.intoday.in/

Is That a Bat On Your Promenade, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
The ‘Bat of Honour’ staute that was erected to commemorate the career of Sachin Tendulkar hasn’t hit it off well with the residents of Bandra who use the Carter Road promenade frequently.

The 25-foot steel bat sits atop on a granite platform with two steel plaques on either side and resembles an ugly powerless lightsaber. There, I said it. It’s ugly. I’m sorry, but it is. There was a life-size cardboard Magum ice cream bar installed right next to it, which in my opinion, looked better.

But it’s not all about the looks. I’m sure in this case, it’s the thought that counts, but why does no one think about the people who actually live in this city? Does Baba Siddique (who was instrumental in this installation) know how annoying it is for joggers to break pace in an attempt to side-step that granite platform?

This is not to say that Sachin doesn’t deserve to be commemorated. Of course he does. But must we ALWAYS be myopic and erect statues in people’s honour? Again I ask, what is our obsession with erecting statues and naming roads after people? Why not start a charitable trust instead, for kids that want to play cricket, but don’t have the means to train? Or do something that could actually benefit society, rather than spending lakhs of rupees constructing an eyesore.

Singapore Skyline
Singapore Skyline, Image Courtesy – http://images3.naharnet.com

Mumbai Named One of the Least Expensive Cities by Economist Intelligence Unit Survey
The 2014 Worldwide Cost of Living survey conducted by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) has named Singapore the world’s most expensive city, thanks to its strong currency and soaring cost of cars and utilities. What’s of interest though is that our very own Mumbai has landed up in the bottom of the scrap pile, being named among the world’s least expensive cities, along with its peers Karachi, New Delhi and Kathmandu.

Well I should just proceed to shoot myself in the foot now, as should the rest of you, because if we can’t afford to live comfortably in ‘one of the least expensive cities in the world’, we sure as hell don’t have a shot anywhere else. If I move to Singapore, I’ll probably end up as a bag lady.

On that note, have a great weekend, you gaiz! Live it up, because you’re living in the cheapest city in the world! Check back in next week for more madness and mayhem.

Post By Amanda Ferrao (25 Posts)

Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.

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Amanda Ferrao

Amanda Ferrao
Escaped the big bad world of advertising after being held hostage for 10 years. Consecutively developed Stockholm Syndrome and guiltily tries to justify its awesomeness. Sarcasm-enthusiast. Recovering online shopping addict. Self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. Will write for shoes.